Learning to Let Go

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about "letting go." Seems to be a loaded topic - and can encompass many different areas of our lives - letting go of old ideas, letting go of former lifestyles, former jobs, former investments, ways of thinking, etc. However, I won't get into that aspect in this particular blog post. My focus today will be more specific - letting go of "stuff" that no longer serves a useful or valuable purpose in our lives.

As many of you know, I'm working on a long term organizing & decluttering project for an elderly aunt in her 80's who lives in CT. The project started several months ago when she needed some help getting through some of her accumulated "stuff" in preparation for a move into a senior living complex.

Let's say that the process has been extremely challenging and has lasted longer than originally planned - primarily because she has accumulated a lifetime's worth of possessions in a large older home that she's lived in for almost 50 years. As a child of the Great Depression, she has a certain mindset -- and has a difficult time letting go of anything. She seems to be coming from a place of fear & want - if she gets rid of something, she may never be able to get it back again. She has many lovely "things" -- but much of it is buried under layers and layers of clutter.

It's taking time to go through 14 rooms and 50+ years of accumulated stuff because she has so much of it and every single item has a story to tell. What is very sad to me is that she continues to identify herself with all of her "stuff" - she seems to define herself as a person by all the things that she has accumulated over the years - whether it be furniture, clothes, shoes, jewelry, books, china, art, antiques, etc. So, each time she agrees to let go of something, she feels like she is losing a part of herself.

Which is often what happens to all of us if we equate who we are with what things we have instead of focusing on our unique talents and gifts that we bring to the world as human beings.

I've been taking part in a "Take 10 Away" Challenge for the past couple of months. Each day, I spend maybe 10-15 minutes getting rid of at least 10 things that are either cluttering up my life, my home, my work, or even my computer! I'm pretty consistent with it -- each morning, I look around for 10 things I no longer need to have. Sometimes the items get donated; sometimes thrown out; sometimes recycled; sometimes repurposed; sometimes deleted, sometimes sold.

• I keep a couple of bags or boxes in my closet for clothing or shoes I no longer wear. Once the box or bag gets filled, the items usually get donated or given away. A few months ago, one of my sisters was the beneficiary of 2 almost brand new pairs of Dansko clogs. A few years back, I "just had to have them;" I wore them maybe once or twice, then they sat in my closet just gathering dust and looking nice. My sister loves Dansko shoes; I asked her if she wanted them - she tried them on, they fit, and she was thrilled. It makes me happy to see her happy.
• Books are another passion of mine. I'm a voracious reader and also have a huge reference library for my business. I read for pleasure, to relax, to learn, to develop new skills, and because I'm a naturally curious person and kind of an "information junkie," too. Needless to say, over the years, I accumulated tons of books (literally). I've gotten into the habit of purging my tomes several times a year. I either donate them to the local library, trade them with friends and family; give them away; and have sold them to a used book dealer or recently, on Amazon.com. Now I keep a box specifically for books to be sold or donated, and I recently listed about 50 books on Amazon.com to sell. And I've actually sold some of them!
• As an interior designer & decorator, I often have an inventory of various home decor items that I've accumulated over a period of time. I don't have a retail shop, so many items were put into storage just in case I'd need them for a client or a project some day. A couple of years ago, I sold several items on ebay. Recently, I've found an area shop that takes things on consignment and doesn't charge an outrageous percentage. I've been making it a habit to bring things to the consignment shop at least 3X per month. Oh, I'm also selling some of my aunt's stuff at some of the same places.
• I also purge files on a regular basis - whether paper files or computer files. I spend a few minutes each morning going through emails and deleting anything that I no longer need or have already responded to.
• Magazines get purged regularly, as well. I subscribe to lots of home decorating magazines. If I don't have time to read them when I get them, they all go into a basket for reading later. Then I keep a highlighter with post-its to tag any articles of interest when I do read the articles. Sometimes, the articles will be torn out and kept in specific folders for reference later. Or, if there are lots of artcles in any given magazine, I'll keep the entire issue and have boxes or binders to keep them organized for future reference.
• General interest magazines will get recycled or donated after a specific period of time - like 4 months. If I haven't had time to read something in 4 months, then I make a decision - do I continue with the subscription? do I save the magazine for future reference? Do I toss/recycle/donate it? Many of my favorite decorating magazines are no longer being published or can be found on line -- so that's another way I've been able to cut back on both clutter and costs.
• Old, unwanted, extra, or dated furniture can be recycled, repurposed, repainted, repaired, sold, or donated, depending on the piece and your individual circumstances. That can be the topic of a whole other blog posting.
• Old bedding or towels can be donated to the local animal shelter. They will often take other pet items as well, as long as clean, sanitary, and in usable condition.

So, think about it. Letting go of "stuff" we no longer need or that no longer serves a valid purpose in our lives can be a very freeing and uplifting experience. Especially if some of the stuff we're getting rid of can be used by someone else or if we can actually sell some of our unwanted items and get some needed cash.

When we clear clutter from our lives and our homes, we're making room for new opportunities to come in. And do like I do - I have an iron clad "1-IN & 2-OUT" rule at my house - for every new "something" I bring in, I have to get rid of at least two "somethings" to keep things from getting too cluttered. It works most of the time!

More Ideas To Clear Clutter & Do Good, Too!

Photo Courtesy of Ceil Petrucelli Designs

Even though this time of year sometimes gets hectic with the holiday season -- too much to do and too little time to do it all, it's also a good time of year to work on clearing clutter, getting organized, and saving some money, too! It can be an opportunity to go through some of your "stuff" and figure out what can be donated to some charitable organizations, senior centers or schools, local library, animal shelters, etc. And even though many jokes are made about "re-gifting" -- you may have some things that are no longer useful to you which might be of use to someone else.

Last week I had the opportunity to donate a few bags full of small decorative and useful items to the Bennington Museum for their first annual Children's Shopping Day which will be held on Saturday, November 29. This promises to be a fun event - (no adults allowed!) for kids from 4-14 who are looking for inexpensive gift items for parents, family members, friends, teachers, etc. All items will be priced from $1-$7 and all items are being donated by museum members and others. For more information, call the Bennington Museum at 802-447-1571 or visit their website at http://www.benningtonmuseum.org/.

I just went through drawers, closets, bookshelves, and other places where I had things tucked away and found a treasure trove of items that I no longer needed, used, and in some instances, had completely forgotten about. Of course, as an interior decorator, I also had a lot of "little decorative things" tucked away which I had planned to use some day, but hadn't. Good time to clear things out for a good cause.

If you are an avid reader like me, you can often accummulate lots of books. Sometimes, you just have to "purge" and weed out. One way to prevent accummulating so many books to begin with, is to take advantage of your local library, get a library card, and borrow books. Bennington has a great library, but sad to say, I hardly ever use it to borrow books or to do research. I have what I need at home. However, I periodically donate books, CD's, and DVD's to the local library and it's a great tax deduction, too.

You can also sell your books on-line (ebay, Craig's List, Amazon) and make a little extra money. You can also sell (or trade) books to your local used book dealer. Or you can pass them along to friends, family, local schools, senior centers, etc. I have a long distance "book exchange" with a good friend in Nashville, TN. She and I have similar tastes, and we often send each other a box of books after we've finished reading them. Great way to discover some new authors, too!

With the holidays coming up, people are looking for some relatively inexpensive gift ideas as well. You can combine a favorite book with a a couple other items and make a "gift package" or "gift basket." Combine a book with a mug or tea cup, a package of coffee or tea bags, maybe some biscotti, a pair of warm socks, and voila! you have a "Curl Up, Read and Relax" package perfect for a chilly winter night. You could also add a CD with some favorite music

A few years ago, I had accummulated a bunch of DVD's that I knew I'd never watch again. So I made up a bunch of "Night at the Movies" packages as gifts. I included a few DVD's, popcorn, snacks, and also, some warm socks! They were a hit! You can put everything into a basket, a large tin, or even a big bowl - be creative!

The holidays, even though stressful at times, is also great time to get together with friends, families, neighbors, and co-workers. A great way to avoid "conspicuous consumption" and to give back at the same time is to have a get together and make a favorite (or several favorites) non-profit organization the beneficiary. There are several versions of this type of party. Here are a few ideas.

• Instead of exchanging gifts, everyone can bring a gift item that can be donated to a local charitable cause, such as a wrapped toy for Toys For Tots.
• A "collection jar" (or jars) can be set up in various spots. Each jar is labeled with the name of the non-profit. Attendees can contribute whatever amount they feel comfortable with. At the end of the night, the contributions are tallied, and the money is sent to the various non-profits.
• Another version is similar to a silent auction or Chinese auction. Attendees bring various items (wrapped or unwrapped- your choice) to the party. The items are put into a central area and attendees can either swap and trade, or if an item is really popular, then it can be put up for bid. The highest bidder wins, and the money collected goes to a favorte non-profit.
• The possibilities are endless. The point is to pay it forward, have some fun, enjoy the holidays and getting together without having to get stressed about "lack of ....."

For more ideas, you can visit my website www.ceilpetrucelliinteriors.com

Until next time!

Ciao!